Yes, it’s possible to learn to believe in yourself
No matter how old or young you are, sometimes your self-confidence can take a beating. That’s normal. The thing to remember is that there are ways to build your self confidence and belief in yourself no matter how young or old you might be or what you’re going through.
In fact, there have been many times where I lost faith in myself and needed to go back to the drawing board and develop new levels of confidence, belief and faith in myself. A prime example of this was when I committed myself to my local hospital’s mental health unit in January of 2013. Not only was I suicidal, I had already been to the hospital’s emergency room two years earlier after a suicide attempt. I had been married for two years when I decided to commit myself as my wife looked on with tears in her eyes. Imagine how I felt about myself as a man, a husband and as a son: absolutely horrible, like a total failure. Nevertheless, I knew that my family would much prefer to have me alive then to lose me to suicide, which is exactly what happened to my brother Ryan on June 24th, 2008.
No matter what you’re going through, I’m here to tell you that there are ways to develop a strong sense of belief in yourself. Most of us have a voice in our heads that isn’t very nice to us at times, a voice that says things like “you’re not good enough,” or “you don’t deserve to be happy,” or “you see? You failed at this as well!”
I have taught myself to not believe in that voice when I hear it. No matter what mistakes I make or challenges I face, I have a strong sense of self confidence and belief in myself today. Here are a few ways to regain or discover a deeper sense of confidence, belief and faith in yourself:
– See yourself as equal to everyone else (not “less-than”). In reality, we ALL have issues and challenges, even if our lives look perfect on the outside
– Remember some achievements from your past, and don’t minimize them – see them like someone else would and be proud of yourself!
– Make self-care a priority (Google the term “self care” to learn more about it if you aren’t familiar with it)
– Be careful who you associate with (this has a huge impact on your life)
– Primarily focus on your strengths and abilities, not the things that you aren’t good at (though it is important to address negative patterns that may be holding you back and harming you in any number of ways)
– Learn to have a “Growth Mindset”
– Learn to take rejection and keep going anyway (as much as it takes to succeed)
Finally, do some of your own research on tips and tricks for increasing your sense of self confidence, self-esteem and positive self-talk. Self-awareness takes time, so definitely remember to be gentle on yourself as you work hard to learn and grow. We all need help at times and we all have different goals, hopes and dreams. Stop comparing yourself to others – what might take 10 years for you to achieve may take someone else a lifetime, and vice versa.
Finally, never, ever be afraid to ask for help. The only way we learn is by going through things – through experience. Allow yourself to make mistakes. Those mistakes are actually learning lessons in disguise. As Dr. Wayne Dyer once said, and I quote: “when we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change.”
Wayne, you were so right.